Movie Review: My Name is Khan

Imagine a book on climate change by J.K Rowling. An understandable painting by MF Hussain. A low budget movie by Sanjay Leela Bhansali. An uneventful press conference given by Jose Mourinho.

If this is a list of things that are just not meant to be, then topping the list would a terrorism movie directed by Karan Johar.

As a movie, My name is Khan has its moments. Lots of them, if truth be told. Excellent screenplay, taut editing, hum-worthy music, outstanding acting - the movie is vintage Johar. Unlike some other terrorism-based movies off the Bollywood mainstream, this one does not have a boring scene.

But, where another director would have had greater bite at the end or some more moral impounding through the movie, Johar falters. The first half could just as easily have been that of a candy floss rom-com. The second, although good by intention, is too imminently predictable for a movie of this genre. Excellent screenplay and storytelling, aided by outstanding acting, sees the film through. But, with a little less of the director's all too apparent touch, MNIK could have been a really memorable movie.

On the acting front, SRK delivers probably his best performance in recent memory (which would translate to 'best ever', i guess). With few hints of overacting, he brings credibility to his role and draws ample empathy. The support cast is on top of their level, as you'd expect for a movie of this scale. But the performance of the movie, undoubtedly, is Kajol's. Pure dynamite. With her array of emotions, she steals scenes left, right and centre. Apparently, we are asking too much of the current crop if we are looking for Kajol's heir apparent.

All things considered, MNIK is a must-watch just for the chemistry shared by the lead pair. An extremely likeable movie, but a touch disappointing if you are expecting anything more.

The verdict: 3 stars out of 5

Sherlock Holmes: a movie review

Most of our childhood heroes in the real world have a fallible side. In the world of books and movies, however, heroes quite often stretch all kinds of limits. While He-man and Batman had their charm (for want of a better word), one character who really made me marvel more than any other was this pipe-smoking, violin-playing, consultant detective created by Conan Doyle.

Holmes, in the books, was just masterly. While the author's plots may have lacked the subtle, crafty genius of some other detective authors, they were runaway masterpieces all the same. The stylishly mesmerizing character of Holmes, his masterful monologues and the chronicler's storytelling - all these had made my day so many times when I was younger.

So you can imagine the sense of excitement I felt when I saw Sherlock Holmes on the big screen (for the 1st time) at Devi theatre today evening. The sheer weight of my expectations (based on my own picturization of Holmes) would have probably made Guy Ritchie think twice before inking this deal.

But, as it happens sometimes, I was not disappointed. At all.

Sherlock Holmes (the movie) is a wonderful, unmissable trip down memory lane for his fans. The characterization & acting are terrific, dialogues simply riveting and the pace of the movie compulsive; the storyline is another highlight.

Jude Law, although handed a slightly under baked character, plays the urbane 'sidekick' Watson with consummate ease. Rachel McAdams as "the woman" (to quote Holmes in one the books) has great screen presence, in more ways than one. Even the characters of Lestrade and Blackwood (a new adversary) manage to impress.

But, as in the books, the character who steals the thunder is Holmes. Robert Downey Junior lives the character of Sherlock Holmes, depicting the requisite eccentricity and sporadic (inspired) bursts of energy all in STYLE. He is supposed to be the star of this show, and he delivers. Big time.

With hints of a sequel in evidence, we can expect Professor Moriarty to make an entry. And judging by the direction in this movie, that is one imminent showdown I am really looking forward to. But for all you guys who haven't yet caught this installment, make sure you book box tickets at Sathyam (Devi might reach Sathyam's standards after a few more renovations, but until then ............) and sit back & enjoy the most intelligent entertainer in recent memory.

P.S - I badly wanted to use the line "It's elementary, my dear ....." somewhere in this post. But I couldn't. Or did I, just now? :P

2009: the year in review

Looking back, 2009 was 1 year on the calendar but a lot more off it. In an attempt to write without lengthy opening paragraphs (read put-offs) - here's my list of arbit (arbitrary, to the pedants) stuff that caught my attention/captured my fancy/set me thinking, this year:

And the nobel peace prize for 2009 goes to ....... Barack Obama? Okay, you gotta be kidding! A vast majority of the second most popular ('believed', if you are agnostic!) religion in the world consider the US to be the root cause of half the world's problems. A neutral would probably say that they have a point. And the Nobel committee nominates the US President for the Nobel Peace prize less than 2 weeks after he has assumed office. The question in everybody's minds- "What the ____ did this guy do in 12 days (outside of signing papers) to convince the Nobel committee to nominate him for the Nobel? " CLEARLY, a case of giving the little boy a lollipop to shut his mouth. If this is how world order is going to be restored, then so be it. But if not, well, chew gum.

28 year old cabinet mantri ...... Agatha Sangma, all of 28 years, became the youngest ever cabinet minister this year. Cynics may point at her political lineage. Detractors might say she is unproven and untested. But hellooo, what about the 80 year olds she shares office space with? What have they proved over the years, other than their utter ineptitude? And talking of tested, have some of them even ever faced a 12th standard exam? If 28 year old Agatha does a good job, then maybe, just maybe, she might be the defining trendsetter the next decade - by inspiring educated (yes, she is well educated!) youth to jump into political waters. And if she fails, well, the country has already gone to the dogs, hasn't it?

Tata Nano, Tata Indian roads ........ Yes, it was a technological miracle (so was the atom bomb, by the way). Yes, it brought the CAR down to the 'common' man's grapple. Yes, it was a landmark for Indian industry. But, hell, who cares about all that when I won't have roads to drive on quite soon? (mild hyperbole) With the Nano, India's already burgeoning roads, which literally stretch their limits, are now officially doomed. After all, at just a lakh, a whole gamut of our population can now afford a car. Unless it is restricted to towns (like Trichy), get ready to spend more time on the roads than ever before. And then some more.

No more tenth boards ???? ....... Shower hosannas on him or call him names, you cannot deny one thing about Mr Kapil Sibal. He has his heart in the right place (not only literally). This outrage over the scrapping of the tenth boards must have been along expected lines for him. After all, in a nation that has grown up on exams, tests and plenty more of the same, the abolition of the 'very purpose of education' (at the 10th grade level, now) must seem outrageous. Well, if India needs to have the best education system in the world, then Indians need to alter their perceptions of education. And there can be no better way to plant the seeds of a new system than by removing the very roots of the old one. If the concept does not seem practical enough to my dear uncles and aunties in the country, then I am a little surprised. I don't recall hearing them ask why their children had to learn hoardes of pointless stuff (that they would forget seconds after the exam anyways!) in the name of, say, social science. Grrrrrr! (sorry, that's how I react to the mention of that subject I supposedly scored 97 in)

20 years of Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar - Over the years, he has made bowlers look downright silly, fielders feel totally out of place and team mates look terribly redundant. And yes, commentators (AND BLOGGERS) seem so lost for words. I could try and describe his supreme batting prowess to you. Or I could possibly tell you why I feel he is the greatest cricketer ever and the greatest Indian post the Mahatma. Or probably, I could run you through some of the highlights of his (my) last 20 years. Or maybe, I could just simply thank him.

Thank you, Sachin. For the memories. (even this turned out to be cliched, unfortunately!)

---A lot more happened in 2009, but there is a limit to the amount of time I can spend thinking and typing--- Let's all carry forward our cherished memories and hope 2010 is every bit as wonderful as 2009, minus some of the gloom.

Cheers :)

The two sides to the 20-20 coin

Consider an international cricket tournament with the best T-20 sides from all top cricket nations playing. Add to it foreign players, coaches and cheerleaders. Sounds mouthwatering? (cheerleaders just happened to be before mouthwatering) Well, think again!

In a classic case of killing the hen which lays the golden egg, the ICC has (arguably) played the card called overkill. True, a miniature version of the great sport which finishes quicker than Bollywood movies (with a climax, moreover) was a terrific way of filling up the stadiums again. While people might prefer to catch Tests and ODIs at home from time to time, popcorn cricket with its grand packaging naturally seemed a more attractive proposition to urban Indian.

But, as so often happens, too much of anything is bad. (A day after Diwali, I reckon most sweet toothed Indians will nod in agreement.) If an IPL with its jam-packed schedule was not enough, a T-20 world cup followed almost immediately. And before you could say 'Enough!', the Champions' league T20 was on you.

For all of 20-20 cricket's brevity and entertainment quotient, it always had its critics amid the purists. The joys of cricket included, among other things, the art of building an innings and
plotting a batsman. Both these arts are now, for all practical purposes, redundant. Though it requires its own skill set and is often exhilerating to watch, it is at best a complement to its father and elder brother (Tests and ODIs, if you are on a sedative).

And the sooner the ICC realise this, the better for the game. Infact, amid all the noise and hoopla surrounding T-20, Test cricket might actually gain in the process. Cricket fans, almost fed up with the incessant torrent that has become 20-20, might just welcome the refreshing sight of the whites when normal service is resumed. Until then, however, I will just switch channels when I see players in almost shining outfits look to make a baseball out of cricket.

The year that was

As a year, 2008 was not a bore. It had its highs and it had its lows, as every year must. But, extremely eventful it certainly was. Be it a financial catastrophe, a terror episode unrivalled by any other in terms of implications or the historic election of USA's first black President, this year had it all - the good, the bad and the ugly. However, here is my pick of 10 big events, people or whatever that affected or amused me this year.

10. Roger is human - Yes, it had to happen sometime but 2008 will be remembered by the tennis world as the year Roger Federer showed his human side. Stripped off his superman outfit by heir apparent Rafael Nadal, Federer's Grand Slam performances of a victory, two final defeats and a semi final loss were a huge letdown for his fans, so accustomed to better. Personally, I feel Federer did not perform at his best on a number of big occasions this season and looking at the way Nadal has improved, anything but his A-game will not be enough to stop the Spanish Armada that is Rafael Nadal next season as well. But, a hungrier and meaner Federer in 2009 might just be too hot to handle, even for a young again Pete Sampras.

9. America and Obama create history - A 47 year old African-American Black was elected President by the people of USA. To somebody disillusioned with the Indian polity, this did not seem a natural or even obvious choice. Firstly, an outsider was elected by his party against much more experienced and senior native Americans. And after winning the right to stand for President, he went on to win the hearts of the people of America. True merit and credentials were recognised, and it says a lot about the country. True, the spending habits of their people (ridiculous, at times) has come under the scanner nowadays but there is no doubting the fact that the United States are the world leaders for a reason - fantastic attitude. The election of Obama will not only make most history textbooks, but it should also be a lesson for many other countries still wrapped in mediocrity (if at all that) owing to an attitudinal problem towards true merit. How many posts in India, for that matter, are held by the right people?

8. Popcorn cricket - As a huge fan of the English Premier League (am speaking football- for the uninitiated), I really looked forward to the IPL. Its auctions, biddings and format ensured that even if you thought India could do without cricket (quite a prevalent notion in some circles), you could be hooked. The cricket on offer was of the highest quality. Afterall, which international star would choose not to turn up for a 3 hour game for millions of dollars? As a tournament too, the IPL had its moments. However, it wasn't the blockbuster magnum opus some people (yours truly included) were expecting. It dragged after a point, and the monotony of the shortest version of the game was scorned at by several cricket pundits. As a carnival event however, Lalit Modi will be a pleased man. With a little tinkering and modifying, this could be just the boost cricket needed. But then again, too much commercialisation always has its pitfalls and the IPL is no different.

7. The Baltimore Bullet - As a sports fan, nothing can give you greater joy than watching a real champion at work. The 2008 Olympics gave us many such opportunities, but none greater and bigger than that of watching Michael Phelps wade into a pool of water and then walk onto the centre of the podium. Eight times. Even for someone totally ignorant of the finer aspects of swimming, like myself, the feat itself demanded awe. In an age of cut-throat competition, Phelps was already under the weight of incredulous expectations. Making the incredulous come true is what champions are all about. The more incredulous the expectations, the greater the champion. And Michael Phelps is about as great a champion sports has, or will ever see.

6. The Fall of the Oz empire - As a generation brought up on Aussie dominance, it felt great (let's be honest about it) to watch them stutter. If Roger Federer is one of the more loved champions of the era, then the men in yellow belong to The other side. Brash, arrogant and relentless- the Australian cricket team was as different from Clive Lyold's West Indies as they were similar. Resolve when their backs were to the wall, supreme confidence in their own abilities and a very fine, professional system had ensured that world cricket had been split into Australia and the Rest of the world, atleast where cricketing superiority was concerned. Not any more. Because, as India first and South Africa next proved, not even the Aussies can fill the boots of players like McGrath, Warne and Gilchrist. With the sudden departure of a number of the greatest of contemporary cricketers, Australia needed to scratch around and win ugly. Not something which these headstrong crickters were used to, and two greatly inspired sides under enigmatic captains ensured that, after a long time, Cricket Australia will have more questions than answers at the turn of the year.

5. Rock On - Yes, I was oblivious about all music tending towards the rock side (whatever that means) at the turn of 2008. No longer the case. In a fantastic exhibition of commercial cum theme-based cinema, Rock On stirred me from within. And quite a few people, unsurprisingly, agree with me. An inspiring depiction of a bunch of 4 rock enthusiasts with the 'right' amount of masala thrown in - everything that was there about Rock on was good. Its actors lived their roles, the direction and editing was right out of the top drawer, the screenplay lapped up by the multiplex audience and ofcourse, some really rocking music. Maybe, if I were a fan of Rock, I wouldn't have appreciated this movie as much. Because, this film introduced me to the Rock world, and how! Even a dancer as miserable as me (no, don't mistake the wrong things for modesty) was spotted tapping his feet to glory.


4. Glory Glory Man United - For a team as widely supported as Manchester United, underperformance in Europe has been a perennial talking point. Not any more. If Cristiano Ronaldo walked away with the Ballon D'Or this year, then it was as much due to his sublime skills as due to the well roundedness of a squad which Sir Alex Fergusson describes as his best ever. And that, I guess, sums it all up. Though a harsh red card to their stand-in goalkeeper denied the side from matching the 'Class of 99', there is no doubt at all that Sir Alex will treasure this season just as much. Overcoming a sluggish start to their League campaign, United defended their title in style, a last day finish notwithstanding. However, it was that glorious night at Moscow when John Terry slipped and Van der Sar became a hero, that United will truly remember 2008 by. To add to that, they went on to add the Community Shield and the Club World cup to a burgeoning trophy cabinet. A hard year to repeat, but if any side in the world can do it, then you suspect it would be the Red devils.

3. Team Dhoni - Probably the best advertisement for young India this year would be our cricket team, led by a 27 year old daredevil who answers to the call 'Mahi'. If Dhoni had the confidence in a young side minus stalwarts like Sourav Ganguly and Rahul Dravid in it to take on the might of Australia down under, then the majority of the cricketing fraternity had scorn. Ultimately, as it so often happens in fairy tales, India didn't even need the 3rd of a best of 3 finals to clinch the trophy. From then, there was no looking back. Be it giving Rahul Dravid ample time to play his way back into form in test cricket, or the gesture to allow Ganguly to lead the side for his last few minutes on a Test field, or himself batting with the maturity and guile of a pro, it is no secret that MSD has played most of his cards right. Few would question India's claim of being the best ODI team of the year, and its captain deserves all the plaudits he is receiving. Armed now with some of the finest talents in the world, both discovered and rediscovered, Team Dhoni enters 2009 with only one mission - to be number one by the turn of the year. And judging by their show so far, few people remain now to scorn at it.

2. Mumbai shaken, India moved - '26/11 is India's 9/11', screamed the headlines of a leading daily. However you react to that, the fact remains that this time, the god damned terrorists had gone too far. The death toll barely reveals the extent to which this incident has affected the Indian psyche, and more than just mournings and tributes are needed now. Yes, it is now time for finding solutions to long-standing problems. Why does a wannabe superpower still have an intelligence whose sophistication, or rather the lack of it, has become the butt of jokes aplenty? And now, it has cost us dearly too. If I was touched and sad by the whole incident, then I was angrier and incensed by its very occurence. Just as bashing Pakistan for their utter insensitivity is a correct step, it is even more important us to address some internal issues which have become a part of our lives. If we fail to do so this time, then I really wonder what on earth will wake up this sleeping giant that is India, Bharat and Hindustan.

1. The Man from Mumbai - A reputed global research firm 'Synovate' conducted a survey to identify India's best role model. The result: Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar. 2008, to Sachin and his fans, will always be a very special year due to the way he reverted to his old habit of enthralling a nation with his mere presence. At 35, his body wasn't getting any younger for sure, but whenever a big moment appeared (excepting the blip in Srilanka) the man often criticised for going missing in those moments, grabbed them with both hands. In the aftermath of the Sydney Test (probably cricket's ugliest moment), India looked up to its best batsman to shine in the, now all-important Perth test. He did, with a cracking century on the world's bounciest track. Not too long later, when India looked up to him for inspiration in the CB Series Finals against a confident Australia, the home side ran into a familiar nemesis again. Sachin stroked 2 gems in back to back matches to give India a famous victory and a much needed confidence booster. Throughout the home test series labelled 'Clash of the titans', Sachin came up with telling contributions in every Test match. And finally, to top it all - chasing a mammoth total against England in a landmark Test series, when the pressure on favourites India was extremely high, Sachin came up with a composed century on a 5th day pitch to see his team through. Exactly what he had been criticised for not doing on several previous occasions. Post a terrible terror attack, with the nation at an all-time low, it was a familiar figure leading the way in terms of expressing solidarity. In paying tribute and condolences for the affected, Sachin Tendulkar showed once again why he is so special to a volatile, passionate and colourful country that is India. With due credit to a lot of people, it is Sachin who was India's standout performer of 2008, yet again- consistent and reliable, yet magical and talismanic. Showing signs of quite some fuel left in the tank, who knows if 2009 will be any different. I, for one, would hope not!


************ HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009 ************

Yet another masterclass by the master

The power and impact of the written word has often been highlighted in the annals of English literature, but at the MA Chidambaram stadium this Monday- for once, its shortcomings were exposed. For, few words remain which can be used to describe Sachin Tendulkar. Like a rubber ball bounced on concrete, he keeps coming back. And how!

If Veeru's petulant knock set the crowds on fire and Yuvraj's commanding performance revealed his Test mettle, then it was Sachin Tendulkar's mere presence in the middle which kept the mood in the dressing room and the crowds upbeat. Andrew Flintoff may not be talked of in the same breath as some other greats of the game, but I doubt if opposing batsmen (and supporters, for that matter) will buy that line of thought. With him as their talisman, the English bowling attack had sting. And the pitch, already had enough variable bounce and cracks to keep the bowlers more than just interested. So, it was in this backdrop that Sachin walked out to the middle after yet another no-show by The Wall.

If the crowd was depressed after Dravid's dismissal, then it did an excellent job of hiding it. Because, the atmosphere in the stands and in the middle changed completely. While the Pommies knew about Dravid's potential in such situations, it was the Master whom they desperately wanted back in the pavillion. Two meaningful partnerships with Gambhir and Laxman later, one thing became clear. For all the buzz about 'Dhoni's new-age men', this was an all too familiar (and old) story. An opposition team desperately wanting Sachin's wicket to get back into the match. There was no doubting which way the match was heading if Sachin stayed, Yuvraj or no Yuvraj.

Demons of the past, they say, are very difficult to bury. It was here in this very ground that a peerless Tendulkar had to bear the agony of watching the Indian lower order crumble against Pakistan, immediately after he got out for 136, more to injury than to anything else in those hostile conditions. No interview of the man is complete without a mention of how that defeat still rankles. And that, was no one-off occasion.

For all of Sachin's brilliance and tenacity over 19 years, one aspect of his repertoire still seemed suspect. For a batsman of such rare pedigree, he did not have those defining 4th innings knocks under mountains of pressure which were present in the batting wardrobes of Steve Waugh, Brian Lara and the like. He still had an outstanding average, an awful lot of hundreds and a lot of them in difficult conditions too. But, critics argued, he went missing in those big moments.

Now, before proceeding, I would like to dwell on this a bit more. How justified were these accusations, really? On a 5th day minefield in Chennai, where other batsmen were clueless about mere survival against bowlers of the menace of Akram and Saqlain, Sachin batted as though on a different pitch altogether- a batting masterclass, if ever there was one. Infact, Sachin's first Test century was a vintage, match-saving effort. Against England at Edgbaston, as the top order crumbled, a teenager scored a priceless ton to deny England victory. These two instances, among others, immediately spring to mind, when Sachin's 2nd innings credentials are questioned. True, India did not go on to win either match, but how many people in the dressing room or stands do you think blamed Sachin for that? In a team game like cricket, individual brilliance, even a Tendulkar's, can help only this much. But, who would explain that to the mindless critics?

Thankfully now, however, there is no need to. Because, Chennai 2008 will go down in history not as Man of the Match Virender Sehwag's champagne moment, but more likely as Sachin Tendulkar's finest (till now, atleast). As an innings, it may not have been his best ever. He has played far more authoritative knocks against far more formidable attacks in (apologies for its overuse) far more hostile conditions. But, for pure technical brilliance, outstanding temperament and masterly control over the situation, this effort is undoubtedly right up there. And the timing! Immediately after the terrible Mumbai attacks, with people across India still fuming, the nation's favourite son comes up and pays his tribute to the jawans and homage to the victims. If there is a better way of showing solidarity, then it sure hasn't occured to anybody else. As a disappointed, frustrated but clearly awed Kevin Pieterson said-' Nobody could possibly write Sachin Tendulkar's scripts better.'

Nobody is safe

On a personal note, Manchester United are not doing too well in their league and Sachin's not yet got on fire in the ongoing India-England ODI series. I have read that the world economy could do with some Complan, and ofcourse my semester exams have gone badly. (No) thanks to some incessant rain, I have been under house arrest for the past 72 hours (and counting) and what's worse- with frequent power cuts! But trust me, all you and I should really be worried about presently is yesterday's Mumbai terror attacks.

It's probably reached a stage where if there have been no terror attacks an entire month, you check onto the calendar to see if the month is really over. And right royally justified to do so you are, because terror has not only reached Indian shores now but has become a part and parcel of our lives. In the beginning, we were shocked to hear that 'religious crusaders' had actually entered Gandhi-land. Nowadays, we do express shock but are actually just helpless. Guwahati, Ahmedabad, Delhi and Mumbai are important cities to us. But to them, maybe they are just 4 boxes ticked. And that is where the question comes in. Are we all just lambs patiently waiting for our turn? Or, is there still hope?

As a nation of such a length and breadth, there is not really too much that our intelligence can do to deter an intelligent terrorist group. Just google the word 'bomb,' and you will know exactly what I mean. Besides, where much more expensive and sophisticated intelligences abroad have failed miserably, how justified are we to blame our own policemen?

As a total layman, my only ruse would be to get to the root of it. These terrorists are not, by any means, mindless youngsters over-inspired by Counterstrike. They have their wants and grievances, and however unreasonable they may sound to us, it makes perfect sense to them. Sometimes, when a majority group (and I am not getting religious here) has asserted itself for a very long time, then the minority may choose to upset law & order out of sheer frustration. A lot of us believe it is the wrong thing to do, but that hardly helps. As yesterday's attacks proved yet again. Maybe, when our nation-makers sat down to create this marvel called India, they underestimated how difficult unity in diversity would be to achieve. There is no fixed blueprint, but I for one, feel that giving in a bit to these ''aggrieved offenders'' may not be such a bad idea afterall. If the choice is as simple as one between a nation's principles and an entire country's peaceful sleep, then I am pretty clear about which one I would choose.

People talk of 'going soft' on terror. Ridiculous as it may sound, it is not necessarily such a bad thing. If we think being ruthless and iron-handed (nice phrases on paper) is the way to go, and it probably is in the long run, then there are surely no signs of terror attacks stopping in next to no time. What will follow then, is probably a civil war of sorts at the culmination of which peace will be established. But until then, nobody is safe......